Divorce R Us - Advice and Comment about Divorce

Divorce. What to do about the house, the kids, and the dog. All kinds of stuff about divorce, including do-it-yourself divorce info.

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Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Court Is Not Required to Consider 'Fault' Or 'Marital Conduct' As Relevant

By Alan A. Weiss

In determining the distribution of marital assets in a property settlement and /or the granting of spousal maintenance the court is not required to consider 'fault' or 'marital conduct' as relevant factors. However, the court is required to consider any fact or circumstance which, in the opinion of the court, the justice of the case requires that it take into account as long as it is of a broadly financial nature.

Generally, financial losses which have been incurred by the parties or either of them in the course of the marriage will be shared by them (although not necessarily equally). There are two exceptions to this general principle. Firstly, where one party has embarked on a course of conduct designed to reduce or minimise the effective value or worth of the matrimonial assets (including such conduct as deliberately destroying a valuable asset, the wasteful dissipation of assets by a party, or even deliberately or recklessly scaring away investors in the family business thus reducing the effective value of its worth). Secondly, where one party has acted recklessly, negligently or wantonly with matrimonial assets, the overall effect of which has reduced or minimised their value, for example, excessive gambling, spending excessive sums on drugs, alcohol or the downloading of internet pornography.

There is an increasing awareness of domestic violence as an issue in society and with this societal awareness has come recognition by the court. If, for example, a wife has been subjected to constant physical and emotional abuse by the husband to the extent that she is unable to fulfil her employment or has to change careers from a highly paid position (modelling) to a lower paid one (cleaning) as a direct result of the husband's abuse, the conduct can be taken into account by the court as having direct financial consequences. Such a set of circumstances takes into account the financial losses caused during the marriage by the conduct of the husband on the wife as well as possibly creating a higher future needs consideration, particularly as it affects future earning capacity. But the effects of violence are generally more subtle and it may not be that there is an obvious change from modelling to cleaning.

The court will consider the wife's potential to contribute had she not been the subject of abuse. Another example may be where one party's considered contribution as homemaker and parent may be increased where that party has endured domestic violence at the instigation of the other party. The court is required to assess the contribution that each spouse has made to the property over the period of the marriage. A course of violent conduct by one party towards another which makes the other party's contribution more arduous is a fact a trial judge is entitled to take into account. The application of that principle is not limited to domestic violence but can extend to other forms of conduct such as bad business deals, gambling and wasteful destruction of assets. Certain conduct may even be classified as resulting in a negative financial contributions.

Violence in the home is, of itself, an indication of a negative contribution to the welfare of the family and is therefore relevant in the determination of how to adjust property interests following the breakdown of a marriage. The effect of marital conduct in property settlement proceedings can get extremely technical.

We have Family lawyers Canberra, Family lawyers Sydney who can advice you on all family law matters

Article Source: The Court Is Not Required to Consider 'Fault' Or 'Marital Conduct' As Relevant
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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Tips on How to Start Dating Again After Divorce

Been there, done that, have the t-shirt, as the saying goes.

One of the wierdest things I experienced about my divorce, in 1985 at age 40, was going out on dates. As far as "meeting" girls was concerned, they weren't girls anymore and were not impressed with a hot rod or extra butter on the popcorn at a movie. Come to think of it, were they ever?

Anyway, here's a few tips, and some good post-divorce advice, from Ed Sanchez on how to get back into the dating pool.
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How to Start Dating After Divorce - Tips on How to Start Dating Again After Divorce
By Edward N Sanchez

Do you need to know how to start dating after divorce; this resource may be of help to you. It is the truth that divorce is at an all time high. Reports have shown that one out of every two marriages end up in divorce. Even the highly celebrated marriages, with millions spent to bring the couple together; most of them end up in divorce. One will therefore not stop to wonder why this is so. I guess there will not be answers to everything here on earth. These are people who were once heads over heels in love. Whatever made the beat change, it's hard to really figure out.

Divorce happens and it probably has happened in your marriage too. The past is past, the future is the future! What is done is done! The question is, how do you start dating now?

It is sometimes hard for some folks to get back into the dating game after divorce. Trust is wounded and thrown away. Everyone who shows interest in you becomes evil and there is no reason for you to want to love again. Yet in the heart of hearts, you know you need to love again but how to start dating after divorce is the issue. The following tips can help you.

Leave the Past Where It Is

You have got to let the past go. Yeah, your spouse was terrible. We can agree with that but that doesn't change the fact that you have to move on and it doesn't change the fact that not all people are terrible. You can still find love again, yeah, you can. But no one wants you bringing it the junk of the past into your present life, it will ruin things always. So leave the past where it is.

How do you do that, you ask? Well, forgive your spouse. That is important. If you don't forgive him or her, your past will keep hunting you. This will take time. I will even advice that you take at least 6 months to healing up before thinking about dating after divorce. Although there may be the emptiness that may want to drive you to just let anyone in to fill the void but that often leads to more pain because you are most like going to pick the wrong person again. So take some time, heal up and forgive.

Start with Friendship

Do not intend to get into some serious relationship after you might have thought you healed up. You may need to start with friendship first. Hang out with the opposite sex but keep in mind you are not out for serious dating yet, you are just trying to get back up fully. Yeah, you will find people you like but you have got to be careful. You of all people should know that emotions are aside, reality what you should face. While you are making friends, take time to scrutinize and get to know your friends very well. I advice you don't make friends with people you cannot date in this case.

Stay Positive

Another helpful tip on how to start dating after divorce is to stay positive. Now, while you have started making friends, there are chances you want to be extra cautious, thereby not allowing love to flow into your heart. This is normal but you have got to learn to stay positive. It is good to know what you want in a partner but do not have too-high standards. Remember there is no Mr. Perfect or Miss Perfect out there, we all have flaws. Know what you want but learn to be tolerant too. Learn also to see deep into the hearts of the people you are dealing with to know whether they love you or they are just out for games.

Let Love Flow

After friendship, you may need to take a bold step of allowing love to flow in. There is every chance you would have found someone who is just nice. Let the person have the privilege of loving you. You never can tell, he or she might just be the angel you are looking for. However, there is no way you will know this if you do not make the commitment to love. I hope these tips on how to start dating after divorce helps you.

Have you been able to discover the tips that you need to apply to start dating after divorce? Get a free dating after divorce tips and walk your way into another relationship that you deserve. You can also discover the secrets of a healthy relationship by visiting http://www.relationshipmadeperfect.com.

Article Source: How to Start Dating After Divorce - Tips on How to Start Dating Again After Divorce
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Saturday, September 10, 2011

How to Tell the Kids About the Divorce

It is never easy to tell the kids that mommy and daddy are getting a divorce. Each parent must find his or her way.

However, a professional in this field, Rosalind Sedacca, has produced a tool which some parents may find valuable in introducing and explaining this subject to their children, and which helps the children deal with the emotional and psychological turmoil they may be feeling.

It is called HOW DO I TELL THE KIDS ABOUT THE DIVORCE, and is available as an instantly downloadable ebook.

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Thursday, August 11, 2011

Not Every Marriage in Trouble Has to End In Divorce

Using Divorce Mediation Services
By Craig Simons

Launching a divorce can be an expensive proposition. A contested divorce court proceeding can empty your bank account, take your time and destroy your peace of mind in no time. You can hire a divorce lawyer to represent you and eliminate some of the work, but it will always be an expensive ordeal, at least. Your family and your children will always be influenced in unpredictable ways, and there is no guarantee of a trial will go in your favor. You might consider using the of qualified divorce mediation services as an alternative to using a divorce lawyer in court. Most divorce lawyers will charge at least a thousand dollars for an initial consultation and several hundred dollars at an hourly rate thereafter.

The total will increase rapidly as you move through the divorce. On the other hand, the services of a divorce mediator will be shared by both spouses, even for the most protracted divorce. If mediation does not work for your case, you can always still go to court with your divorce. You can start and stop the mediation at any time. Using a divorce mediator does not mean you have to do all the work of a legal divorce by yourself. Many brokers are also lawyers and therefore cannot complete and submit the legal documents required by both parties. A lawyer in mediation cannot make decisions for the couple; rather they help both parties to make their own decisions based on the information.

Mediation is based on an agreement between the parties and allows them to monitor the conditions of the settlement agreement replaced the terms dictated by the divorce court. Mediation encourages compromise and discussion of the proposed agreements and can often lead to satisfactory results for both parties.

Professional mediators divorce is not recognized in all states, but you can find mediation services are permitted almost everywhere. There are teams of family and mental health professionals, in collaboration with lawyers often acting as mediators for divorce. Divorce mediation services entail effective counseling skills, family law and child support issues.

Divorce mediation can help both parties to take realistic decisions that offer the best solution to your divorce. Mediation can help foster the acceptance of a couple of negative points in the past and help them move towards a future that is better for both.

There are many benefits accrued via divorce mediation services that range from saving money for parties involved, allowing direct control of the judicial settlement, divorce is easier for children and families and helps maintain the privacy and dignity. Mediation is recommended when in the divorce procedure both parties agree to a divorce, parties are anxious for dependent children, and if both parties are on good terms.

If either of the spouses doesn't want a divorce, there is physical abuse, abuse of drugs or alcohol in a marriage, each spouse is adamant about child care or each spouse has his habitual residence,then, divorce is not recommended. With mediation, you will amicably end your union in the best and mutually agreed terms. Alternative Law has been appointed as a neutral government internal mediator. We mediate and settle cases for you or your business in your city and town and all across the country. We have a very high rate of client satisfaction, because of the success of our best practices and result driven settlement programs.

Article Source: Using Divorce Mediation Services

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Sunday, May 1, 2011

Divorce and Marriage Contracts

An interesting take by the writer who wonders why marriage contracts just don't come with expiration dates.
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Marriage Contracts With Expiration Dates
By Monique Agustin

In one of my online jobs I was tasked to do biographies of famous people mostly those in Hollywood. I have noticed that most of them have divorced maybe once or twice. I live in a country where divorce is not allowed but I have heard about the ordeal that people go through when filing for a divorce. I myself am a product of a broken family, from my grandparents, parents and now me. But because I am bound by such contract I have no option but to abide by that contract. Although my husband and I are no longer living together we are still considered married.

Now that I'm forty I only recall signing three types of contracts; one is a lease contract that I signed when I got an apartment, an employment contract which I get every time someone hires me and a marriage contract; of the three two have expiration dates and one has none. Why can't we just apply expiration dates to marriage contracts as well? I know those who are conservative are now raising their eyebrows telling me it's immoral. If you think marriage is a sacred vow then try to renew every time it expires.

I am sure that lawmakers are encountering issues with their marriage as well. Why don't they come up with laws that would give them the liberty to end their ordeal by patiently waiting for their marriage to expire. A lot may think that it is funny but when you see your child in the witness stand being asked about how mommy and daddy fight or what they fight about; I guess you would be thinking of my suggestion.

But you have to wonder why the term "happily ever after" no longer exists. These trying times where both husband and wives are working, there is no concrete job description of what each partner would do. A few decades back, you would seethe mother taking care of the home while the father tries to earn a living. Nowadays, both parents are trying to earn a living so who gets to take care of the needs of the home, should it still be the wife? Then you begin to ask yourself, women are known to have frail and weak bodies and men are perceived to be stronger, shouldn't it be the other way around? This is something for you to think about. Technology has been changing in a blink of an eye so I think laws should adapt to these changing times as well.

Why don't we include an expiration date when signing a marriage contract?

Article Source: Marriage Contracts With Expiration Dates
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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Divorce - It Can Be the Worst of Times

When it comes to divorce, there are a lot of pains experienced that go far beyond the simple fact that something which was supposed to be so wonderful and go on forever has ended. There is loss of identity, and, for some people, loss of their good sense.

Sometimes the person we divorce is not the person we thought we married.

Divorce - It Will Bring Out the Worst in Folks
by Larry Boyd

Words are perhaps the most popular means that of communication we experience. The word "Divorce" is a word that can cause thus abundant hatred, pain, and loss of control. Many people, when faced with divorce, immediately feel the necessity to make the person they fell in love with become their worst enemy and the foundation of all evil. Once the death of a loved one, divorce is the foremost emotionally charged period during a person's life. Whether there was an affair, a loss of affection, or maybe a mutual agreement to divorce, it affects everybody concerned, particularly the children.

There's no way to eliminate the dramatic and advanced emotions related to a divorce. The depth of emotions runs the gamut of pain, loss, betrayal, and anger to such a degree that lives can be shattered and future relationships are affected. However, for couples who want to avoid fighting, save thousands of bucks, limit court and attorney involvement to a minimum, and be in a position to move on with their lives as quickly as doable, there exists an possibility to achieve these goals-Divorce Mediation.

Divorce Mediation offers an alternative to a traditional legal adversary proceeding. It means you can avoid the fighting and conflict laden drama of a courtroom and it additionally means that you can avoid draining your checking account with retainers, fees, and court costs. It is a process in which you, your spouse, and a neutral third part work along to arrive at a peaceful and equitable divorce agreement. This neutral third person may be a Divorce Mediator, who can guide you and your spouse through the maze of details that must be resolved. Problems such as custody and visitation, school planning, distribution of assets and debts, kid support, and maintenance should be explored and resolved.

Studies have shown that mediated divorces are much more adhered to than those found out by attorneys and judges. Adherence is crucial in eliminating post-divorce conflicts-conflicts that arise when someone alternative than the divorcing couple decide the terms of your divorce. Divorce mediators who are in personal follow often have a complement of coaches and therapists on workers and are offered to help resolve divorce issues in a peaceful, honest, and equitable manner.

Divorce mediators make obtaining a divorce as painless and price-effective as possible. They're there to handle the "business" facet of the divorce, creating positive that every one problems relevant to the divorce are agreed to and that the agreement is sensible to everybody involved. If problems do arise, again they're there to diffuse and positively resolve conflicts.

Therapists associated with a Divorce mediator work with their shoppers and youngsters to understand and deal with the advanced vary of emotions that they're experiencing. Additionally, life coaches who practice among the framework of a Mediation practice are available when therapy is not necessary but, as a result of of divorce trauma, participants are unable to move forward in their lives. The life coach can provide practical and sensible advice and steerage in starting a post-divorce life.

Contested divorces price families thousands of bucks, persist for years, nearly guarantee years of post-divorce conflicts, and never very permit for emotional recovery. Everybody loses in a contested divorce, apart from the attorneys. Mediation, therapy, and training offer a divorcing couple and their youngsters the simplest likelihood for a peaceful divorce now and within the future. Remember, you have got nothing to lose and everything to gain by mediating your divorce. The mediators, therapists, and coaches who work at intervals a private Mediating follow help with all sides of getting a divorce and therefore the emotions that inevitably arise throughout the process.

Remember that Divorce Mediation is a proven win-win proposition. Proven by thousands of former spouses who have rebuilt their lives and families that have cast a replacement family identity, and couples who have spent their money wisely and still have assets to sustain their new lives.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Larry Boyd has been writing articles online for nearly 2 years now. Not only does this author specialize in Divorce ,you can also check out his latest website about:
Bulova Watch Bands which reviews and lists the best.
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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Women Should Think About Protecting Their Finances During a Divorce

It is unfortunate but true that women are still often those who suffer most as the result of a divorce. If they do not protect themselves financially, the pain associated with a divorce may be even greater. Here is a little information on how women can possibly protect themselves financially.

How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce
By Karl Augustine

Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who think that their husband will be asking about getting a divorce at some point should put their emotions aside and plan "just in case" their intuition is correct that a divorce may be coming in the near future. If women who believe that the "divorce discussion" may be lurking, they should make it a point to look for solid signs that their husband will indeed ask for a divorce...then they should plan accordingly.

Women who think that they are signs that her husband may ask for a divorce but haven't thought about it deeply or who think that a divorce would better suit them rather than their husbands, should view the situation realistically and as stoically as possible. This will ensure that plan they take is calculated, logical and will benefit them based on what they want the end result to yield.

Often times women refuse to think that a divorce could happen to them and one day their husband comes home and says "There's something I have been meaning to talk to you about..." or "I think we should get a divorce." or something similar. If the situation has reached this point, its too late for women to start planning for their financial future after divorce.

So what do women who think a divorce is eminent or who want a divorce for themselves do in order to ensure they aren't left in financial ruin?

There's certainly a myriad of tactics that can be used and each woman's situation is different regarding divorce, but here's some tactics that will help:

Women and divorce tactic 1:

Once women validate their own reasons for divorce and are sure that divorce is the right path, they should make a plan and keep it to themselves. They shouldn't let anyone know what they've decided to do. They should not tell their friends, co-workers, or family...no one. And they certainly shouldn't lead on to their husband that they want a divorce if they are the ones who will be making the first move to end the marriage.

Women and divorce tactic 2:

Women in divorce should realize that the plan they take may require several months to implement and they should be patient and plan logically. Women should learn how much money it would take to support themselves (and children if the situation warrants it), how much money is actually available to them now, and how they can adjust their lifestyle to make sure they can financially survive.

Women and divorce tactic 3:

Women who may be facing divorce should look at the household wills. In some cases, it may be legal to take someone out of a will or put someone into a will without that person knowing.

Women and divorce tactic 4:

Women who want to plan for divorce should try to put away cash in the event something dramatic happens unexpectedly. Bit by bit, putting cash away somewhere in a place that cannot be found by heir husband will allow women to make sure they can survive in the event of "unforeseen circumstances".

Women and divorce tactic 5:

Women who plan on getting divorced should document any events that will strengthen their case against their husband. Occurrences such as physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, and drunken stupors that end in embaraasment or abuse are examples or instances that should be documented because these happeneings strengthen any case the women have against their husband.

Women and divorce tactic 6:

Women who know that divorce is in their future should do all they can to decrease liabilities and increase their access to money. This includes paying down mutual debt, establishing credit of their own if they do not have credit already, and making sure that the mortgage (if there is one) is paid down as much as possible.

Women and divorce tactic 7:

Women who are serious about getting a divorce or who think that their husband might ask for a divorce in the future should gather all documents that have to do with anything financial that has their name listed. They should make a list of all these items with financial institution name, address, account number, balance, interest rate, etc. Knowing exactly what is at stake financially will help alleviate surprises later.

Planning a divorce can be as painful for women as it can be for men. Generally, women aren't the breadwinners (although things are getting a lot closer to being 'new age' than in previous decades) and getting surprised with divorce papers can have long term financial affects to women who don't plan accordingly and protect themselves financially.

© Karl Augustine, 2004
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"
An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients. Deciding on Divorce Women and Divorce

Article Source: How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce
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