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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Painless Divorce - Use Do It Yourself Divorce Software or these 5 Tips

5 Key Tips to Make Your Divorce As Painless As Possible
By Matthew Robert Payne

I went through a quite nasty divorce proceedings where at the end of it I had been admitted to a hospital with my first nervous breakdown. I know if I did it again these are the things that I would do.

TIP 1 If your spouse wants to talk through lawyers let them do it that way

Divorce proceedings can be very painful for both parties and can be hard sometimes to speak logically face to face. If your partner who has left you only wants to talk through lawyers make sure that you comply if you can. You can make sure you tell your lawyer what you want and they will make sure your former partner knows what you want.

TIP 2 Try to be reasonable in what you want in the settlement

Some people want to fight just for the sake of fighting. It's quite alright not to fight that much and just accept most of what your partner wants and let them have it. There is no law that says you have to fight about every little thing. Letting your partner have what they want is a nice gesture and can help later on when they reflect how reasonable you were,

TIP 3 Try to come to grips with the fact that you and your partner have split forever

You'll save yourself a lot of pain if you just try to come to grips with that fact that you have lost your partner forever. Sure, some divorced people marry again years after they split, but they are the exception and not the rule. Even if you are a Christian and you don't believe in divorce and the fact that a court can pass a divorce, accepting what your partner wants and letting them have it is a whole lot better then trying to hang on to some hope that you can get back with them.

TIP 4 Pray for your former partner

I know it might be hard for you to accept that your partner will one day be with another person but you can have a say in who that is, simply by praying that God would bring the absolute best person into their life. When you come to grips that the divorce is taking place, take the time to pray that your ex partners next partner is a good one for you and for your children if you have children. If your partner already has a partner and you don't think it's God best for them, pray that God' will, will happen and they will break up and your partner will find the best for themselves.

TIP 5 Treat your former partner with love and respect

When you are picking up the children don't be nasty with the way you do things. Don't be late to pick up the children and late home with them. Respect your former partner and treat them with respect. If you didn't respect them while you were married, learn t respect them now. If you ever going to have a shot at getting back together, they are going have to see you have changed.

Treating your former partner with respect also means you treat their new partner with respect also. Always be nice and cordial with the new partner. You might not think they are worthy of your partner, well don't tell them that, go and pray harder if you must.

I hope these points help you and you learn from my experience.

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Saturday, February 14, 2009

Divorce and Counseling

Relationship Counseling to Prevent Divorces
By Jack Harold

Relationship counselling is often the last resort for couples who are already thinking of getting a divorce. Relationship counselling is certainly something worth a try and something that a couple should not be afraid to seek help from, even if the relationship issues may seem relatively minor. Most of the time, addressing small problems early with relationship counselling can prevent the issues from developing into more problematic ones in future. Early relationship counselling is always advisable before really something serious results.

Nowadays, most couples should be receptive to the idea of trying out something new which makes relationship counselling a viable option. It is those old couples married years ago who are less willing or less likely to go for counselling. Very often, such couples end up filing for divorce as they are unable to resolve their issues when in fact, a ready solution like relationship counselling is there to help them save their marriage.

In getting your partner to go for relationship counselling, you have to make sure that your way of asking should not be confrontational such that it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing relationship counselling. You are bound to encounter resistance to the idea from your partner if you are not careful with your approach of asking. Get a subtle message across to your partner in that you want to build a better future with your partner.

However, in the very worst case that your situation has ended in divorce, perhaps it is best that you take some time off for the first two weeks to let both parties calm down a bit. Ask yourself this - do you love your partner deeply?

Do you want your ex back? Do you want to get your ex back? How are you going to get your ex back? Learning how to get your ex back is not some rocket science; it is all possible if you know how! In the article, I have gone through a systematic plan which lays the foundation for you to learn how to get your ex back.

Watch two FREE videos on how to get your ex back for instant love relationship advice, with the exact ground rules on exactly what you should do, what not to be done and why!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jack_Harold
http://EzineArticles.com/?Relationship-Counseling-to-Prevent-Divorces&id=1981014

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Saturday, February 7, 2009

Divorce Predictors

Top Six Predictors of Divorce - What You Can Do About the Things That Are Crippling Your Marriage
By Kimberly P. James

Is your marriage in a rough spot? Odds are that you and your spouse have some of these challenges which researchers call risk factors. If you and your spouse find yourself anywhere on your list don't despair these are simply risk factors and do not determine the future of your marriage and it probably just means that you will need some help or good information to help get on a path towards marital health.

Here is the list of the top 6 risk factors that predict divorce.

1. You married when you were teenagers.

Study after study shows that age at marriage is one of the most powerful and consistent predictors of marital stability. If you marry before you turn twenty, you are much likely to divorce.

2. You lived together before you were married.

This one is counter intuitive to most people because they assume that living together will increase the quality of their marriage. However study after study is showing that that divorce rates are constantly higher for those who live together before they are married.

3. Your parents were divorced.

If you are your spouse come from a divorced family you are more likely to get a divorce. However if one of you comes from a home where there was a good marriage model then these risks actually go down.

4. You get pregnant before you are married.

The good news is that couples with children actually have lower divorce rates however, if their child is born seven months or before they are married then their risk for divorce actually goes up.

5. You haven't been married very long.

Most divorces happen early, often in the first year and about half by year 7. It makes sense to stick it out and let your marriage have a chance.

6. You make less than $25,000 a year.

Issues around money are some of the most common and deadly to marriages.

So again, if you find yourself on this list just remember these are the things that you can't change. So if you are worried about your marriage, if you are fighting all the time, or if you are talking about divorce you should know that there is hope. With the right information and a willingness to work on your marriage you can save it and make it something that is life giving to you both.

So take action right now and learn How To Save Your Marriage simply Click Here and you can learn how to make the changes your marriage needs to survive and then thrive.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kimberly_P._James
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Monday, February 2, 2009

Divorce Lawyer or Do It Yourself Divorce Software?

How to Select a Divorce Lawyer
By Scott Morgan

Selecting a divorce lawyer to handle your family law case is a very important decision. The following are a few important criteria to help in finding the right divorce lawyer.

Experience and Focus

Any divorce lawyer you consider should have substantial experience in handling divorce cases in your location. An experienced divorce lawyer will know the tendencies of the various judges in your jurisdiction and should be able to use this knowledge to your advantage. Additionally, that lawyer should practice primarily in the field of divorce law. Often people will hire a lawyer who practices primarily in some other area, thinking that any lawyer will do. However, divorce law is a very specialized field that requires particular skills and experience in order to have a likelihood of reaching a successful conclusion.

Past Client Testimonials

Perhaps the best way to decide which divorce lawyer to use for your divorce case is to find out what former clients have to say about that lawyer. While divorce is never an enjoyable process, some divorce lawyers have more success at satisfying their clients than others. If you do not know someone who has been a client of that particular divorce lawyer, you should consider asking the lawyer for a list of clients that you can contact who can describe their experience with the lawyer. While client confidentiality is important, any good experienced divorce lawyer should have at least a few former clients who are willing to vouch for him or her.

Accessible

When a client becomes dissatisfied with a divorce lawyer, one of the most common complaints is that they were unable to communicate with the lawyer. It is very important that your divorce lawyer be accessible and prompt in responding to your phone calls, emails, and requests for meetings. While you can ask the divorce lawyer about their office policy, this is another area where you can best evaluate the divorce lawyer by hearing what former clients have to say.

If a former client of the lawyer tells you that they found it very difficult to contact the attorney, or that the lawyer either did not return calls or respond to emails or would take several days to do so, you should definitely avoid that lawyer. Divorce is an unpleasant and frustrating process under the best of circumstances. If you are unable to reach your divorce attorney, or at least someone on his or her staff, the frustration level can increase exponentially.

Fees

When you make your initial appointment with the divorce attorney, you should inquire about a consultation fee. Some lawyers do brief initial consultations for free, although most experienced divorce lawyers will charge between $100.00 and $200.00 as a consultation fee, or will charge their normal hourly rate.

For example, I charge a flat $100.00 consultation fee with no additional hourly charges, regardless of the length of the meeting. Essentially, the consultation fee is to "weed out" those people who are not serious about the possibility of hiring me. Given that my normal hourly rate is $200.00/hour and the usual typical consultation takes about 90 minutes, the charge for my consultation is significantly discounted. Therefore, you shouldn't let a consultation fee scare you away from interviewing a particular lawyer.

During the consultation it is vitally important that you have a candid discussion with the prospective divorce lawyer about fees and what you can expect. Typically, an experienced divorce lawyer will require the payment of a substantial retainer up front, against which that lawyer's hourly rate and expenses will be charged. You should find out what that lawyer's hourly rate is, what the up front retainer will be, whether any portion of the retainer is refundable if it is not exhausted, and how often you can expect to receive invoices that detail their hourly charges and expenses. You also will want to know how detailed the invoices are. Once again, this is another area where you can get excellent information from those people who have been clients of that divorce lawyer.

Comfortable

While all the above issues are important, there is one final question you should ask yourself before hiring a divorce lawyer. Are you comfortable with that lawyer and are you confident in his or her abilities? If the answer is anything other than a resounding "yes," you should keep looking. Your case is too important to entrust to someone who does not inspire your confidence.

Scott Morgan is a Houston attorney who practices exclusively in the field of divorce and family law. He has practiced family law in Texas since 1994. For more information go to http://www.houstondivorce.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Scott_Morgan http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Select-a-Divorce-Lawyer&id=5378

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