Children and Divorce - 3 Signs That Divorce May Be the Best Option For You and Them

By Shannon E Cook

Divorce is a painful proposition for everyone involved, and it can be especially traumatic for the children. They are subject to a huge and difficult life transition and have been given no say in the matter. A decision to divorce should never be taken lightly, but there are some circumstances where staying in the marriage will be far more destructive to both you and ultimately the children. Here are 3 signs that the decision to divorce may be best for you and for your children:

1. The relationship with your spouse is abusive. Physical abuse is very dangerous and often escalates. If you are experiencing physical abuse, please call a counselor or women's shelter that specializes in domestic violence issues. You will need specific professional guidance to safely exit the relationship. If you are being emotionally and psychologically abused, the scars and wounds may not be as obvious, but the effects can still be devastating. Keep in mind your children are watching you and your marriage as a relationship prototype. Your sons and daughter will be learning that the way you are being treated is the norm. Also be aware that your level of preoccupation with keeping the relationship afloat under these circumstances will detract from the focus on your children and their needs.

2. Your partner is engaging in untreated addictive behavior. If your partner is abusing drugs and alcohol, the relationship will always be unbalanced. Your partner will prioritize obtaining and using the substance over you and the children. In addition, there are practical pitfalls and risks. Your partner may be setting your family up for serious legal and financial consequences (DUI's, accidents, job losses, etc.) Your partner may be at risk for neglecting or harming you, your children, or him or herself. Your children are watching this model of behavior and growing up in a dysfunctional family system they may feel compelled to emulate later in life.

3. There is serial infidelity within the marriage. An affair can actually serve to strengthen a marriage if the incident opens up lines of communication and there is increased accountability between the partners. However, a persistent pattern of unfaithfulness does not allow for any foundation of trust to ever be built. Compulsive infidelity can also be a sign of deeper seated issues that can be destructive within a relationship. There are health risks to being in a non-monogamous relationship, and just like in the other cases of extremely destructive behavior, you are likely to be so wrapped up in managing the relationship and your own emotional state over the cheating that you are not fully present with and engaged with your children.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

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